Heard my first Christmas song today,
You need not know where.

Here we go again! Into the tinsel, the tacky,
The shiveringly weird and wacky

Father Xmas show comes to town again!
Starring third-world slave-made tinsel-crapola,

Weird adolescent adult idiots running around
With red noses and brown plastic antlers on,

The word ‘Christmas’ (Christmas! Christmas!)
Coming at you from every direction (Buy! Buy!)

Buy your friends, buy them with tinsel and crap
Made in China. Let the little ones suck on shit

Full of colouring and ‘flavour’ (ing!)
Ring the bells of commerce! Ring ring!

Ring the merry bells,
Cash registers register-ing

A massive Bling!
Angels weeping.